I said last year that we'd be back, and for 2003 the MotorbikesToday team were ready to do battle against the elements and sleep deprivation and go for the gold award on this year's National Rally.

As it was my idea, I'd automatically "volunteered" myself to do the organising and planning, but with less than ten days to the off I realised that we hadn't received any confirmation of our entry. A quick phone call to Allison at the ACU and I find that they never got our application (thank you Royal Mail), but there's no problem with arranging a late entry and the next day a large package arrives on my doormat. Thanks for getting everything sorted out so quickly Allison.

Now I've got to plan the route. This year the Rally format's changed and there's now six categories of award and the control points have been divided into inner and outer zones.

For the Gold award we've got to cover a minimum of 500 miles, start from any control in an outer zone, visit at least seven outer zone controls without exceeding 270 miles, take two compulsory one hour breaks every 200 miles, and do it all between 2.00 pm on Saturday and 10.00 am on Sunday. There are a few other things to factor into the equation, but with two days to go everything's sorted and I've done the route plans. Just a final check to do - and I've got 215 miles between the two compulsory stops - whoops! A quick re-shuffle of the stops and it's fixed. I print out copies of the route and make up sets of documentation for each member of the team.

Saturday July 5th

The bike's ready, the weather forecast says no rain - yes, really - and there's just a few last minute things to pack and before setting off.

1.30 pm

We all meet up for the start at the Aylesbury control point, which isn't actually in Aylesbury, but in Waddeson, 6 1/2 miles away. The route is studied, forms are completed, we sign on, and everyone's in good spirits and up for the challenge. But we might not all be so bright and breezy at 4.00 am on Sunday morning, we'll have to wait and see.

As far as the riders and their bikes are concerned, we've got a right mixed batch with Adrian Percival on a Triumph 955i Speed Triple, Jocke Selin on a new Yamaha R1, Clare Gamby on her trusty Suzuki SV560S, and Caroline Oakes and yours truly on two elderly Kawasaki ZX6Rs. No luxury cruising, stereo speakers and padded armrests for us then!

2.00 pm

The 'GO' board is raised at the control, engines are started, helmets donned, and in a most civilised and un-Le Mans manner, we're off! Since I planned the route I'm delegated to lead the team, although this is probably so that I can be blamed for all the wrong turns, missed controls and anything else that goes wrong. Still, it will give the rest of them a good opportunity to practice their U-turn technique!

I lead our motley crew back down the A41, around Aylesbury and off along the the A355 through Amersham and Beaconsfield to Slough. It's a summer Saturday afternoon, we're running through well populated parts of the Thames Valley and there's a lot of 'shopping' traffic about. Progress is steady rather than outstanding. At Slough we make a quick dash onto the M4 for one junction to avoid the town's congestion.

3.00 pm

Almost to the minute we arrive on schedule at our first control in Honda UK's car park. We sign in and get our entry cards stamped in a process that will be repeated another nineteen times before the finish. A chance to stretch the legs before heading off to to the next control at Guildford. Back onto the M4 eastbound and then onto the M25 anti-clockwise where, for no apparent reason, the variable speed limit signs are on. Traffic is light, but everything's restricted to between 50 and 60 mph and no one's prepared to take a chance that it's the 'technology' playing up and end up having their picture taken. We turn off on the A3 towards Guildford and I miss the A320 Woking turn-off (it wasn't there - honest!). Before there's a chance to backtrack, we're on the Hogs Back and heading for Farnham. Pull over, get out the maps and work out a "recovery".

4.00 pm

We're heading back through Guildford and this time the A320 appears on the road signs. Now we're cooking. Follow the Woking signs, turn right into a large commercial area and there's the BMW dealership. More card stamping and sheet signing in the showroom and then back outside for cuppa in the refreshment tent. It's too early for a burger or a hot dog - but it's tempting. No, I must resist.

The schedule's slipping a bit, but since the next control in Reading is "virtual" ie. unmanned, we make a token effort of heading up to the M4 at junction 12 before turning round and picking up the M3 to take us to Basingstoke. Now in spite of the fact that I know exactly where this control is and how to get there, at the last minute I take the wrong exit off the Ring Road, lose the rest of the team, dash back to pick them up - but they've disappeared. There's nothing else to do but make for the control and hope that they can read the route plan. After a long wait they finally turn up and I get a slap on the wrist. Well, I did warn them!

5.00 pm

We refuel the bikes at the petrol station by the control, and then sneak under the Ring Road to Mcdonalds. This stop is taking longer than planned, but since I'm in the doghouse I don't feel that I can get get the whip out just yet. Anyway, there's plenty of time to get things back on schedule - isn't there?

6.00 pm

We're heading out through Overton on the B3400. This is better. We've finally made it out of the Thames Valley and all it's congestion, and we're bimbling along the country lanes. No cars, no families going shopping, it's dry, the sun's shining, the tyres are gripping, and I know where I'm going. Yes - really! We pick up the Andover Ring Road, whiz up the slip road with it's tightening radius curve and pop out onto the A303 heading west. Past Weyhill Services and then it's off at the next exit signed "Thruxton - Village Only", so that we can double back under the dual carriageway and head back eastbound to Weyhill Services and the Andover control.

7.00 pm

The schedule is coming back to us. After Andover it's another quick 180 at the next junction so that we can head west again down the A303 to the next control at Countess roundabout in Amesbury. More stamping and signing there, and now we're heading north on the A338 for Swindon and the first of our compulsory one hour rest breaks.

8.00 pm

We're approaching the Swindon control at Lower Stratton and are only a couple of minutes behind schedule. I used this control when I did the National last year and it can be a bit tricky to find. This year - no problem (unlike Basingstoke!). When we get to the control and we've done all the admin, there's nothing to do but sit around for sixty minutes, drink coffee and tea and chat. Men (and women) and machines are running well.

9.00 pm

It's nearly time to go. The light's beginning to fade a little now and the temperature's dropping as well. Time for another layer. I might even switch on the heated bar grips for a bit - what a wimp! A Laverda arrives two-up. It doesn't sound too good and the noises suggest something amiss or damaged in the transmission department. He doesn't seem bothered and he's soon on his way again while we grimace at the grinding noise.

Everyone's agreed that this rest stop was a bit of a waste at this point in the Rally. The trouble is that no one's even remotely tired. Although we've been going for seven hours, done 185 'rally miles', and visited eight controls, there's been plenty of breaks to stretch the legs and the schedule hasn't been particularly taxing. I can understand the need for compulsory breaks, but we'd like to be able to take them when we felt we needed them, rather than at set distances. Combining both stops into a single two hour break could also be a useful option.

10.00 pm

It's proper night now and we've arrived at the Newbury control, which this year has relocated itself to Tot Hill Services on the A34 to the south of the town. And we're covered in dead insects! After leaving Swindon we took the B4192 down through Aldbourne to Hungerford, where we picked up the A4 for a blast to Newbury and then the A34 around the west of the town.

Somewhere along the way we were attacked, and now all the bikes and the riders helmets have a distinctive furry look on their fronts. Fortunately, the VMCC who are manning this control have provided a bucket and sponge for removing the insect corpses from visors, and we made good use of this. Thanks guys. It's also time to refill the tanks at the petrol station in the service area and some of us re-stock on chocolate bars as well. Time to get the spanners out though, as the Speed Triple's headlights are just a bit out of alignment. Five minutes and a couple of turns of the hex wrench and the job's done.

11.00 pm

We're on the way to Burford, having just left Abingdon control off the Marcham roundabout. The run from Newbury was a straightforward blast up the A34, but we avoided the new Newbury by-pass in favour of the old road to the east of the town. Now we're on the A415 heading towards Witney where we'll pick up the A40. Fortunately the insects that attacked us on the last leg have either been decimated completely or gone to bed, and apart from the odd small splat, we're left alone.

12.00 pm

And we're taking a break at the bottom of Burford High Street. This, like Reading, is a virtual control which means that there's no one here to stamp our card, but because we've visited controls on either side, we'll get the credit for going through it when we get to the next control at Stratford upon Avon. Everyone's still in good spirits, no one wants to pack it in and go home, all the bikes are performing well and the Triumph's headlights are now pointing at the road instead of lighting up the tops of road signs.

Sunday July 6th

1.00 am

The rest at Burford was a little longer than planned, so we're running a bit behind schedule again (surprise, surprise) having just got to the control at Stratford, which is in the recreation ground on the south side of the River Avon just before the bridge. From Burford we took the A424 across to Stow on the Wold, and I must have frightened the willies out a rabbit that just sat in the road on a corner as I went through at around 60. I know it gave me a nasty fright! I missed it by inches and I'm sure my back wheel must have clipped its whiskers! In Stow we turned north on the A429 through Moreton in the Marsh and then turned off onto the B3400 to Stratford. We're now in the central zone having done eleven controls and 270 miles in the outer zone.

We grab tea and coffee at the control, courtesy of the Shakespeare MCC, and retire to the car park for a breather. It's a fine night and the cloud that made everything overcast yesterday is now keeping the chill out of the air, although it's no balmy summer night. It's also noticeable that although no one's complaining, the bounce has gone a bit from the team and we're all heading towards the tiredness zone. Nothing dangerous yet, but the next compulsory one hour rest stop is going to be needed.

A clattering, grinding sound from the car park entrance heralds the arrival of that Laverda. Well, he's still running.

2.00 am

Finding the control in Worcester was a real game and a half. From the Stratford control we crossed the river bridge and headed through the town centre and then turned left onto the A46 to Alcester. Then we took the A422 and headed towards Worcester on a very windy road that at this time in the morning seemed to run through the middle of nowhere. Looking at the map, I find that it does!

In Worcester town centre we turned north onto the A449 for Kidderminster and then forked right onto the A38 for Birmingham. The control was supposed to be 1 1/2 miles north of the town centre but it seemed a lot more than that before I spotted the two stone pillars hiding amongst the trees by the traffic lights. In fact I was just about to turn around and try another tack when they appeared.

We're not the only ones who planned to take a rest break at Worcester and things are a bit crowded. All the chairs are occupied and there's even bodies in sleeping bags on the floor! I retire outside to the cooking area, leaving the others swilling tea and coffee, find a chair and order a most welcome bacon sandwich. Thank you Worcester MCC. Satiated with fried pig I try to grab 40 winks.

3.00 am and 38 winks later I'm woken. Time to go, and guess what? - we're behind schedule again. Just time to grab some essential chocolate supplies and a couple of mouthfuls of water. We saddle up and prepare to leave.

4.00 am

Daylight is breaking and the birds have woken up as we take a short break and refuel at the Leominster control. From Worcester we went back into the town centre and then picked up the A44 for a great run through Bromyard which fair blew the cobwebs away. We're over 50 minutes behind our schedule at the moment, but since our next stop at Knighton is an unmanned virtual control, we decide to make a 'nominal' visit to Knighton and head up the A49 towards Ludlow and then branch across to Welshpool.

5.00 am

Welshpool control is on a small airfield and now we're all beginning to look and feel a little rough around the edges. Mind you, we had an interesting time getting here. As we were behind schedule I decided to up the pace a little but got picked up by a local boy racer in a souped up Pug. His lights obscured my view of the rest of the guys and by the time I found space to let him go by there were no other lights in my mirrors. I backed off but there was still no sign of them, and I was just about to go back and investigate when they appeared in the distance. It turned out that they'd been tailed by a police car for the last seven miles since leaving the control, so they'd decided that discretion was the order of the day and speed limits should be religiously observed. Can't say that I blame them! And then the police car just turned around and went back to Leominster.

On the plus side, the B489 from Wistanstow to Lydham was a real joy.

6.00 am

Just made it to Whitchurch. The 2 winks that I missed out on at Worcester finally came home to roost, and I started to get that sleepy feeling and my lines went to pot. It was time to pull over. Some fresh air, a few puffs of nicotine and a belt of caffeine courtesy of Red Bull put things to right, and I was firing on all cylinders again. At Whitchurch control we all tanked up with fuel and availed ourselves of the visor cleaning facilities provided by Kings MCC. Somehow this break takes a little longer than expected - I think we are all getting a bit weary now - and we're losing time again. Better push on.

7.00 am

We haven't got to Stoke on Trent control yet, and we should have left there by now. It was 6.45 am before we finally got going from Whitchurch and we've only just passed through Audlem.

8.00 am

Finally made it to Stoke control. We followed the A525 into Newcastle under Lyme and from there towards Stoke on Trent, expecting to see the signs for the A34 to Stafford. They appeared, we followed them, they vanished! This led to a circuit of Stoke town centre before picking up a likely road which eventually got us in the right direction, and then - the A34. As a result there's no time for anything other than the briefest of stops at Stoke. Now we're on the A52 and heading for Darley Moor Race Circuit and our last control at Ashbourne. Everyone's looking forward to getting to Uttoxeter.

9.13 am

We made it! I'm not a racegoer, but I'm really glad to get to Uttoxeter Racecourse. Time to get the final stamps on the cards, collect our trophies and free pairs of socks, and tuck into a most welcome cooked breakfast washed down with a good strong cup of coffee. Only then is there time to take a look at all the bikes and trikes that made it to final control. Well, there's a surprise - the Laverda made it home, in spite of the horrifying noises that it was producing.

Did we all enjoy it? Well, I'm not sure that "enjoy" is the right word, but everyone said that they were glad that they'd done. Will we do it again? Difficult to say. I'm certainly up for it, but after doing it for two years running I might take a sabbatical in 2004. But then again I might not.

All that's left to do now is to get home. Cleaning all those flies off the fairing can wait. And we'll have to wait to see if we've got the gold award, but I'm fairly confident that we've done enough.

Finally, thanks to the ACU and the BMF for organising this year's event, and to Castrol, 2N, Caistormedia and Mencap for sponsoring and supporting the rally. Let's hope that Mencap can improve on the £20,000 that last year's event managed to raise for the excellent work that do.

 

If you want to have go at next year's rally, take a look at www.national-rally.co.uk. You'll be able to download the application forms for the 2004 event from there as soon as they're available, as well as find out more about what happened on this year's rally.